Twisted Funny Poems
Here are some twisted funny poems that are, well, how should I say this, ever-so-slightly off-center. “Slightly” is, of course, my personal characterization. You may well have a different interpretation. That’s the great thing about complex works of literature. Not that that has anything to do with these poems.
Then again, this first poem is a complaint about unequal treatment of men and women in literature.
| | Gender Inequity
By Tom Mulhern
Why is it that men
Can’t be catty or shrill?
Or sweep into a room
With looks that could kill?
Men can’t be shrewish
And they’re never called tarts
It just seems like women
Have all the good parts.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
Next up is a poem about a supposedly-well-meaning comment that offers more irritation than solace. At least that’s what it does if you’re grouchy.
| | Maybe I’ll Try That When I’m Feeling Better
By Tom Mulhern
“Count your blessings, things could be worse.”
These comforting words seem a bit perverse
I’m supposed to be thrilled
That I haven’t been killed?
When in pain and suffering
Happy things I should be numbering?
Improving my attitude
Will take more than platitude
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
Twisted funny poems would certainly not live up to its name without a poem about a bodily function that doesn’t make it into many anthologies. I’ll stand on my first amendment right to free speech (and hope that I don’t have to invoke my fifth amendment rights against self-incrimination as a consequence).
| | Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?
By Tom Mulhern
Of bodily processes formed
By design or evolution
The one that troubles me most
Is that of elimination
Food goes in, waste comes out
That it works is plain to see
But it’s entirely too . . . messy
For sheets of dry T. P.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
Next is a poem about the physical and emotional challenges of a beleaguered social group.
| | Up In Smoke
By Tom Mulhern
Pity the poor smokers
Forced to go outside
Displaying for all the world
The habit they can’t hide
In freezing rain and searing heat
And even in the rain
Smoking isn’t just killing them
It’s also a real pain.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
The following entry in the twisted funny poems category was inspired by a recent visit to the doctor’s office. I did eventually find the exit.
| | From Nurse to Doctor to X-Ray Technician to Patient Services Coordinator To . . .
By Tom Mulhern
I’m trapped in here and can’t get free
Won’t someone come and rescue me?
From helping hands whose sole intent
Is to help until my insurance is spent.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
The next poem highlights a growing nuisance. Now we can’t even engage in mindless and environmentally-destructive consumer spending without being made to feel guilty.
| | Have A Nice Day, Cheapskate
By Tom Mulhern
I was at the cash register
Buying something on sale
When the clerk asked for an extra dollar
To help save a whale
Now I’m willing to share
From my allotted cup and portion
But I don’t much care
For fundraising by extortion.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
|
Click here to leave twisted funny poems and go to a different collection of humorous poems.
This will take you back to the Real-Funny-Poems home page.
|
