Funny Teacher Retirement Poems
Funny teacher retirement poems that provide a perfect send-off for teachers who are about to find out what’s in store after all those years in the classroom. It’s not always what they think, and therein lies part of the fun.
But first, let’s have a poem that provides a nostalgic look back at everything being left behind.
| | Think What You’ll Miss
By Tom Mulhern
No more little minds to fill
No lessons learned against their will
No error-filled assignments left to grade
No more lame excuses made
No more love notes intercepted
No consoling those rejected
No more parents to appease
No more endless IEPs
No more eating lunch-room fare
No more students’ vacant stare
No school board unreasonable demand
No more fear of being canned
Your days of teaching now are past
Retirement day has come at last.
Note: IEP = Individual Education Program, an American innovation that requires educators and administrators to frequently and extensively document their good intentions regarding students with special needs.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Funny teacher retirement poems celebrate what, for many, is a very emotional experience. And it isn’t just the retirees getting choked up.
| | Overcome By Emotion
By Tom Mulhern
To retire from teaching
Is a goal you’re now reaching
And we couldn’t be happier for you
After all these years
It brings us to tears
Wishing that we could go too.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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On occasion, retirement inspires a level of candor and openness heretofore kept under wraps, as in the following poem. This retiree probably should have slept on it, but didn’t.
| | Go Ahead, Tell Us What You Really Think
By Tom Mulhern
As I retire from teaching I share this thought
About how our profession might again be made hot
I think more would choose to become educators
If there weren’t quite so many administrators.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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The next entry in funny teacher retirement poems reviews an exhilarating list of options facing the newly-retired teacher. How lucky can you get? Probably not quite this lucky.
| | Adventures Of The Mind Are The Very Best Kind
By Tom Mulhern
What is your new life going to be
Now that from teaching you’ve been set free?
Will you sail the seas in your shiny new yacht
Big enough to hold all the new friends you’ve got?
Or maybe you’ll buy a forty-foot RV
With a satellite dish and a big-screen TV?
Or, what the heck, why not just build a new house
Then you’ll be happy and won’t have to grouse
These things and more that we won’t even mention
All thanks to your magnanimous teachers’ pension.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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