Funny Simile Poems
Here are a group of funny simile poems using that special figure of speech where you compare two things that don’t really want to be compared. Similes usually involve “like” or “as,” which makes them as easy as pie to identify and means they often stick out like a sore thumb.
Let’s start with a short simile poem that provides a vivid image for the unanticipated appearance of someone you’d rather not see.
| | Creeped Out
By Tom Mulhern
He appears upon my doorstep
Abrupt and unexpected
Like cobwebs caught in hair
This suitor oft-rejected.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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If that one was a little shorter than you’d like, you’ll love the next one. It has enough similes for several funny simile poems.
| | As Fresh As A . . .
By Tom Mulhern
You’ll gain weight, of course
If you eat like a horse
But extra weight you won’t fear
When you run like a deer
You can break out of the box
If as strong as an ox
And you won’t get in a jam
If as gentle as a lamb
When your Olympic-sized wish
Is to swim like a fish
You’ll have to keep tryin’
With courage like a lion
If you’re as cute as a button
But your classes you’re cuttin’ . . .
A more successful tip?
Be as smart as a whip
If you sleep like a baby
And eat right then maybe
With this healthy-habit mixture
You’ll be as pretty as a picture
Your friends may hurl
If you throw like a girl
So whenever you can
Try to act like a man
If you’re trying to please
With similes like these
Your teacher will say
They're much too cliché.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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The following poem has a simile AND a metaphor, giving you more than your money’s worth in figures of speech.
| | Don’t You Hate It When That Happens?
By Tom Mulhern
He searched for the answer
He really did try
But his mind was as empty
As the mid-day sky
Waiting for a cloud-thought
To come drifting by.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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The next entry in the funny simile poems category is about love in the past tense.
| | Time To Move On
By Tom Mulhern
Your love is like butter gone rancid
Your voice is like scratching of chalk
Whatever first brought us together
Has like totally gone for a walk.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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