Funny Limericks
Here’s a fresh batch of funny limericks. They’re called “funny” to distinguish them from all those “serious, brooding” limericks floating around out there . . . Not! The limerick form only seems to work for poems that are humorous, silly or worse. See for yourself.
Let’s start with one about someone whose passion for physical fitness gives new meaning to the term “life extension.”
| | Running Toward The Light
By Tom Mulhern
The fitness fanatic would nary
His workout routine ever vary
On the day that he died
The hearse stayed inside
While he jogged to the cemetery.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Lots of funny limericks start out “There once was a . . .” and go on to literary heights from that humble beginning. Like this next one.
| | Hair-Raising
By Tom Mulhern
There was a young lady whose hair
Caused her to float in the air
As she drifted away
Her mother did say
“I told her she should have used Nair.”
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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They say that clothing makes the man, but whoever coined that shallow and superficial saying didn’t anticipate the clothing consequences explored in the following funny limerick poem.
| | Loosen Up
By Tom Mulhern
There was a young man whose tight pants
Gave him the urge to dance
He could only sit still
With a great act of will
And his parents’ disapproving glance.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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This next limerick needs a disclaimer, in order to establish plausible deniability: any resemblance to any of my sons’ teachers (past, present or future) is just a serendipitous coincidence.
| | Due Tomorrow
By Tom Mulhern
There once was a teacher who did
Give assignments that were simply horrid
She gave so much work
It drove students’ berserk
And made parents flip their lid
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Next up is a poem in honor of Edward Lear, the dead English poet who composed loads of funny limericks in a distinguished career of literary nonsense.
| | Edward Lear
By Tom Mulhern
There once was a man named Lear
Whose limericks were known far and near
Most were amusing
Some were bemusing
And a few were a little bit queer.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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I regularly deliver warm packages to the homes of strangers, a scene that is repeated at millions of homes worldwide every day about lunch time.
| | Meals On Wheels
By Tom Mulhern
There was an old lady whose meals
In more ways than one were good deals
They were tasty and good
And kind volunteers would
Deliver them to her on wheels.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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