Funny Hilarious Poems
Funny hilarious poems that refuse to take anything seriously and act like life is just a big joke. The very idea.
Let’s start with a poem that finds a bit of hilarity in a headache.
| | Does It Every Time
By Tom Mulhern
My head is pounding
I have no rest
And so I delve into
The medicine chest
I grab a big bottle
For delays I’m in no mood
Until I read on the label
“Side effects include:
Burping, itching, flatulence
Eczema and bad breath,
Epileptic seizures and
Occasional sudden death,”
Perhaps this pain is not so bad
And soon my head will steady
Why, I haven’t taken anything
And I’m feeling better already.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Now for a brief poem that expresses a situation that seems to occur with increasing regularity in my life. Of course, I’m getting to an age where regularity is not always a bad thing.
| | Clear Mind or Empty Head?
By Tom Mulhern
I’m not forgetful
Just preoccupied
With many deep thoughts
Which now choose to hide.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Inane questions provide good fodder for funny hilarious poems.
| | Are You Sure?
By Tom Mulhern
“There are no stupid questions”
Speakers like to say
When they know full well that people ask
Stupid questions every day
“What time is the ten o’clock meeting?”
“Did you cut your hair?”
“How much is the five dollar special?”
“What’s the diameter of a square?”
“There are no stupid questions”
Speakers say this all day long
Which only inspires the audience
To prove that they are wrong.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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True confession time: I’m not very good at putting together a coordinated ensemble. Luckily, I’m married to someone who is willing and (dare I say?) eager to help.
| | Does This Shirt Match These Pants?
By Tom Mulhern
“Does this shirt match these pants?”
Is a question that earns a withering glance
From my dear wife, whose weariness grows
Each time she doesn’t approve of my clothes
Which is pretty much anytime I get dressed
I consistently fail the sartorial test
It’s not that I’m trying to make her mad
It’s just that I can’t tell a stripe from a plaid
To blend and not clash is a mystery
One color is as good as another to me
So I’ll ask the question, to her private irritation
In order to prevent her public mortification.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Here’s a poem in which someone trying to act like a posterior gets a satisfying come-uppance, providing even more material for funny hilarious poems.
| | Tantrum
By Tom Mulhern
Fit to be tied
He yelled and he cried
His anger would not subside
His face turned red
But when his wife said
“I think you should shut your fool head!”
His bellicosity
Lost its velocity.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Drastic economic times call for drastic measures. A certain flexibility of thought doesn't hurt, either.
| | Why Didn’t I Think Of This Sooner?
By Tom Mulhern
The bank account is empty
The credit card is full
By any definition
I’m sort of in a hole
To simplify my lifestyle
Is what I need to do
I think I’ll start by throwing out
All bills now overdue.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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