Funny Family Poems
Funny family poems that show a good sense of humor is a universal family value. Humor is also an effective way to cope with certain situations that arise within families, and is generally better-received than the more tempting emotional outburst.
First up is a poem inspired by my first son’s first year in college. He left plenty of room for improvement in the rest of his college career (which will be quite brief if there is no improvement.
| | Define “Doing”
By Tom Mulhern
“How is your son doing at college?”
This raises issues I’d rather not acknowledge
Do I say that his G.P.A.
Is certainly cause for parental dismay?
That I wish he’d do less drinking
And perhaps spend more time thinking?
That today’s twenty-third “what’s up?” text message
Does not a lifetime of future success presage?
And that I hope he remembers the part
About how sexually transmitted diseases start?
No, to respond like this would just be a whine
So I’ll smile and say “Why, he’s doing fine.”
Notes:
G.P.A. = grade point average (Americanism)
presage = to point to, foreshadow (obscure wordism)
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Now for a poem about a much earlier (but just as memorable) phase in family life.
| | Because I Said So, That’s Why
By Tom Mulhern
“There are no stupid questions”
Is a comment often told
Those who like to say this should
Spend time with a three-year old.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Speaking of questions, here is a funny family poem that poses a much deeper question. If you know the answer, please call.
| | Dad’s Lament
By Tom Mulhern
There is a question perplexing me
Though it’s not suited for research or poll
Why am I the only one who knows
How to change to toilet paper roll?
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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For more free family poems, go here. If someone in your family is having a birthday anytime soon, check out the funny birthday poems. And if a certain second Sunday in May is approaching, try out some funny Mothers Day poems.
Funny family poetry would be incomplete without a poem about the marital part of family relationships. Completely hypothetical, of course.
| | I Am Now
By Tom Mulhern
Going to bed
I lay down my head
And quickly drift off to sleep
In five minutes I’m out
Which makes my wife pout
As she lies wide-awake counting sheep
Not wanting to be
In such misery
She gives me a kick and a shake
I come to with a start
Then the love of my heart
Asks me if I’m still awake . . .
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Haven’t yet found one that fits your family? Try the funny family poetry at the other end of this link. How about some family reunion poems? Or for something really different, check out the daughter to father poem saga.
Some families like to express themselves via bumper stickers. That inclination certainly provides material for many funny family poems. Here’s one.
| | It’s Probably Easier With A Rat Terrier
By Tom Mulhern
“It’s hard to be humble
When you own a Labrador retriever”
Perhaps the bumper sticker owner
Is in the grip of a fever
A disease (apparently widespread)
Causing him or her to think
That between humility and dog custody
There is some kind of link.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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