Funny Christmas Poems
Funny Christmas poems that show Christmas is not just a joyful time, it’s also a very funny time of year. All that merry-making and jolliness and good cheer is just begging for a little (good-natured, of course) ridicule.
Let’s start with a poem about the big guy himself, Santa Claus. Total invasion of privacy clouded by the aura of good intent. | | You Better Watch Out
By Tom Mulhern
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
Some old guy is watching
Every move we make?
That sounds a little creepy
So let’s hope he is a fake.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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And it certainly wouldn’t be Christmas without Christmas songs, now would it? If the thought of Christmas music makes you feel warm all over, you might want to check your temperature.
| | The (Incessant) Sound of the Season
By Tom Mulhern
It’s in the elevator
And on the radio
Providing cheery background noise
Everywhere I go
This Christmas music overload
Is like a troubled dream
If I hear “Little Drummer Boy”
One more time I’ll scream.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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For another over-exposed holiday song, how about a 12 Days of Christmas parody, complete with music? And for reference, you can always check out the traditional 12 Days of Christmas words, in all their repetitious wonder.
And if you’re not yet in the spirit of the season, click here for even more funny poems about Christmas.
The family Christmas letter provides an irresistible target for any collection of funny Christmas poems. Here’s one that's a little more honest than most. It’s lengthy, befitting the genre.
| | The Christmas Letter We’d All Like To Receive
By Tom Mulhern
It’s time again to send you this chronicle of our year
A listing of accomplishments which you can’t wait to hear!
Little Jimmy thrilled us all by passing second grade
After being held back twice, this time he had it made!
He also is now potty-trained, which means we’re diaper-free!
And he only wets the bed at night, occasionally
Big sister Jen continues to show a real flair for the arts
With new tattoos and piercings on all major body parts
Her boyfriend has dropped out of school and Jen will follow soon
They have exciting days ahead with her baby due in June!
Husband Bob is the same old teddy bear that he has always been
He really doesn’t seem changed at all by five years in the pen
And I am just as busy as a busy gal can be
Keeping up with all the shows on reality TV!
There’s lots more we could tell you but we wouldn’t want to boast
We bet your year was just as good, or at least almost.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Christmas in the Northern hemisphere is somewhat inconveniently scheduled during the season of cold and dark. For some poems about winter that attempt to make the best of this situation, follow this link.
Letters aren’t the only things that are long at Christmas. The season itself seems to get longer each year, as noted in the next poem.
| | Maybe It Will Boost Back-To-School Sales
By Tom Mulhern
Starting in November
Wasn’t soon enough
Now shortly after Labor Day
There’s all this Christmas stuff
This extension of the season
Has diminishing return
It’s hard to get the spirit
With a late-summer sunburn
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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If the Christmas season starts any earlier, it will run up against another marketing gambit, featured in the following funny Christmas poems entry.
| | Christmas In July
By Tom Mulhern
“Christmas in July”
Is a thinly-veiled try
To get us to spend
Like we do at year’s end
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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