Funny Birthday Rhymes

These funny birthday rhymes were written for a good friend. We were both born on August 29, although she claimed that birthday 19 years earlier than me.

Who's Keeping Score, Anyway?
By Tom Mulhern

"Seventy" is, I suppose, a good enough number
But in terms of excitement, it's right next to slumber
"Ten and Three Score"
Is infinitely more
Exciting and Expressive,
Imaginative and Impressive,
And seems to be
(At least to me)
Every bit as Informative

And so, when your age you feel obliged to confess
(Whether for bureaucratic form
Or to satisfy social norm)
Just say "I’m much younger than the four score and seven years referred to in the Gettysburg address."

© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com

The next funny birthday rhyme celebrates birthday number 71.

Seventy-One, Here I Come
By Tom Mulhern

There was a fine lady whose age
Caused her to speak like a sage
"To become seventy-one
Could be something quite fun
As life lets me turn a new page."

© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com

Margaret Riley At 72
By Tom Mulhern

I heard the news, but I think it’s not true
Margaret Riley is seventy-two?
She doesn’t look older, she doesn’t seem blue
Her spirit is free and she has lots to do
Like discussing great books, and playing kazoo
And planning a journey to see Xanadu
(Including a side trip to view Timbuktu)

Indigenous travel is, in her view
Better to think of than actually go through
So she’ll stay close to home and not bid us adieu
And put on a big pot of thick Irish stew
She’ll dye her hair purple and not use shampoo
But wear funny hats that are slightly askew

So, what’s all the racket and hullabaloo?
Why, Margaret Riley is seventy-two!
(If there’s anything wilder, I don’t think we’ll see
At least not until she turns seventy-three)

© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com

Some funny birthday rhymes require a bit of explanation, and that would apply to the next one. Margaret had surgery and went for extended rehab in a local nursing home. The nursing home is named Holiday Resort, which has to be a contender for “most euphemistic name for a nursing home.”

Neither First Choice Nor Last Resort
By Tom Mulhern

Miss Margaret Riley had surgery
In hopes that from pain she’d be set free
Now she’s out of commission
And her friends are all wishin’
That she has a complete recovery

She’s gone off on a long holiday
At a site where the best people stay
It’s called a resort
And to that I retort
What better place for a birthday?

So sip your mint julep and sit under the tree
Soak up the sun and the tranquility
OK, maybe it’s not
Such a tropical spot
But it’s still good to be seventy-three.

© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com