Free Family Poems
Free family poems that just go to show that the funniest things in life are free and happening all around us every day. They don’t always seem that funny at the moment, but a little time and distance does wonders.
Here’s a poem about the mixed blessing of family members who have come for a visit.
| | The Theory of Relatives
By Tom Mulhern
Extra shoes piled outside the door
People sleeping on couch and floor
Out-of-town relatives are now our guest
Putting all systems to the test
The food that we thought would be more than sufficient
Has turned out to be in quantity deficient
And if too late in the morning you slumber
To get in the bathroom you must take a number
Dirty dishes constantly fill the sink
Piles of laundry all starting to stink
We don’t mean to complain, these folks we hold dear
They’re just easier to love when they’re not quite so near.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Family justice is slightly different from the kind administered in court, as noted in the next poem.
| | Don’t Be Fooled By An Innocent Face
By Tom Mulhern
When children misbehave
and to their room they’re sent
They claim they didn’t do it,
but still get punishment
Repeated young offenses
have parental patience spent
So that children now are guilty
until proven innocent.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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You’ve heard of “win-win” situations? Getting a child to practice their band instrument is more of a “lose-lose” deal. More grist for free family poems.
| | Practice Makes . . .
By Tom Mulhern
Instead of forcing my son to practice the trumpet
I think I’d rather be having tea with a crumpet
Or doing just about anything, blasé or banal
I’d even consider a root canal
Well, not really, but there must be a better way
To get him his horn to willingly play
He’s not all that bad, once he gets started
But getting there is not for the weak or faint-hearted
He fusses and whines and under my skin gets
So I ask stupid questions that lead into threats
“Don’t you want to be accomplished and perhaps even well-rounded?
Start playing right now or for a week you’ll be grounded!”
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Love is what holds families together. It also the alleged basis of some pretty unreasonable requests (not that I’m complaining, mind you).
| | The Things We Do For Love
By Tom Mulhern
“If you really loved me,
you would scratch my back.”
This request seems to be
not about love’s lack
Rather it’s akin
To emotional blackmail
And means I’ll have your skin
Underneath my fingernail.
© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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