Family Reunion Poems
Here are funny family reunion poems that gently lampoon the cherished tradition of getting together with relatives who aren’t quite distant enough. Please note: none of these were written with my own wonderful relatives in mind, and I categorically and unequivocally have nothing to say about any less-than-wonderful relatives who may be lurking in the family tree.
With that out of the way, let’s get to the first poem, which does a nice job of setting the tone for those that follow.
| | Didn't We Just Have One Of These?
By Tom Mulhern
We eat strange food from each covered dish
And listen to Aunt Madge, who makes everyone wish
That her litany of ailments included laryngitis
So her endless woes would no longer stupefy us
When relatives gather from hither and yon
To see how much weight everyone has put on
That's just the start of the awful things done
When cousins congregate and pretend to have fun.
© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Not all family reunion poems reflect such a balanced and happy family, as demonstrated by the following limerick.
| | Glad We're Not Like Them
By Tom Mulhern
Our family spirit takes a beating
At each family reunion or meeting
We stay up half the night
Just to argue and fight
The only good part is the eating.
© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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If you were hoping to find some poems for family reunions that are more positive, this next one almost qualifies.
| | Family Dreaming
By Tom Mulhern
At some family reunions, everyone gets along
They gather round the piano and all sing a song
Their faces are smiling, each one is at ease
When passing food at table, they always say please
The family stories they tell are positive and uplifting
All their relationships are stable and unshifting
While out on the lawn for a game of touch football
They help each other up, if to the ground they should fall
Young and old together, they never have a fight
Each graciously conceding that the other one is right
They say that's how it is, but it seems an impracticality
To have an entire family living in an alternate reality.
© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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You know those awkward silences when you’re talking with some cousin whose name you can’t remember and neither one of you know what to say next? Here are a few family reunion poems conversation-fillers to open things up.
| | You Can't Go Wrong With These
By Tom Mulhern
Although to family reunions I'm not inclined to go
Once there, it's easy to get into the conversational flow
"Look at you! I can't believe how much you've grown!"
"Darn! The baby pictures have already been shown?"
"That's the best Jello salad I've ever tasted"
"She married him? Well, her career is wasted"
"You know, my Roscoe graduated first in his class"
"I love those pickled beets, but they always give me gas"
"Surgery was awful, let me show you my incision"
"Yes, I think that gender change is a very big decision"
Take your pick, and I think that you'll agree
At least one handy phrase will fit your family.
© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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Family reunion poems should be all about precious, heartfelt moments, right? Well, I tried. Sort of.
| | Almost Precious
By Tom Mulhern
"We're so thankful that our family
Could come together like this
To see the new branches on the family tree
And give each one a kiss"
"It's a blessing we all cherish
To renew the ties that bind
With a love that cannot perish
Always gentle, always kind . . ."
OK, I really tried to write a sweet refrain
Without ridicule or rebuke
But if I continue in this vein
We may all want to puke.
© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com
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