Drew's 50th birthday

by Cynthia Stewart
(Scotland UK)

Cynthia writes:
Drew nickname Droozy
Date of birth 6th May 1960, Prestwick (Scotland)
Mum and 2 sisters

Married 24th june 2005 (2nd marriage for us both)
Works for a Charles Duncan Butchers in Troon
Workmates Mick and Stuart

4 grandchildren--Dionne,Blair,Preston,Robbie

Lives on a terrible diet of processed potatoes,peas, burnt black steak, boiled eggs,dry toasted bread,and small pickled onions...
Has his own plate and cutlery which no-one dare uses!!!

Lives on a lot of Kfc and gallons of Coke
Loves chocolate so much he has even had it for breakfast

Has a rapidly expanding waistline
Sleeps enough hours to do 3 people likes his bed lot -- even has an afternoon sleep on his days off

Is known not to be the most sociable person but has a heart of gold, used to buy all the elderly customers sweets

Hopeless at DIY, his skills are definitely useless. He tried once to cut a bit of wood with an electric knife(honestly!!!)

Truly my soulmate, I love him to bits

Hope this helps, if you need more just let me know

Regards from cyn

Tom responds:
Cynthia, I'm not sure I can add much to your description. It made me laugh out loud!

All the best to both you and Drew.

Drew’s 50th Birthday
By Tom Mulhern

The sixth of May in his fiftieth year
Is a good time to recognize what makes Drew so dear

But first a few words about his remarkable diet
(4 out of 5 doctors recommend you don't try it)

Burnt black steak and eggs that are boiled
Processed potatoes and onions that look spoiled

And chocolate icing, thick and oozy
Is considered breakfast by our man Droozy

Gallons of Coke, and Kentucky Fried Chicken
Round out a diet that others would sicken

But for Drew, this food seems to suit him just fine
As attested by his rapidly expanding waistline

He has his own plate, which no else uses
(Don't dare ask, for he firmly refuses)

Not that he's selfish, his heart's made of gold
He's even given sweets to customers who are old

When they come in for steak pie to put on their plates
From Drew, Mick & Stuart, the butcher workmates

Drew's ready for action, if ever he's tested
Because he keeps himself extremely well-rested

Though his do-it-yourself image was set for life
When he tried to cut wood with an electric knife

He's proud of all of his grandchildren fair
Preston and Robbie, Dionne and Blair

As for Cynthia, her love for Drew never quits
She's told all the world that she loves him to bits.


© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com


Happy Birthday, Drew!