Real Funny Poems

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Real Funny Poems

Welcome!

What you'll find here is an ever-expanding collection of funny poems on a wide range of topics. It's quite extraordinary how many situations and life events can be captured (and in some cases, tortured) in funny poetry.

For example, the following funny poem was inspired by a single question overheard while shopping:

Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?
By Tom Mulhern

“Do you think that these jeans make me look fat?”
How can I answer a question like that?

If I say yes, I’m sunk for sure
If I say no, she’s bound to demur

If I say “Yes, you look like a whale”
This will be a short and violent tale

If I say “No, they make you look great.”
She’ll accusingly say “You do think I’ve gained weight.”

No, this is a battle I know I can’t win
This calls for finesse not given to men

Another woman would brightly respond without fear
“Those jeans would look cute with these shoes over here.”

I doubt that a man when pressed could ever
Come up with an answer quite so clever

No, though I grope for a phrase to express my love true
A noncommittal grunt is the best I can do.

© 2009 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com

Lots of the poems here are seasonal in nature. Here's one for Valentine's Day, which is right around the corner.

The Gift-Giving Mine Field
By Tom Mulhern

A big box of chocolates shaped like a heart
For Valentines Day seems an innocent start

Unless when it's opened and you urge her to try it
She blames you for undermining her diet

Before a blunder like this your relationship closes
Eat the chocolates yourself and give her some roses.

© 2010 by Tom Mulhern - www.Real-Funny-Poems.com

The funny poems on this site are:

Original:
I wrote these poems and set them to verse
May they cause you to smile more often than curse
Funny:
If you read these poems and think they're not funny
Take comfort that they didn't cost you any money.
Real:
Four out of five doctors say that it's beneficial
To read poems that are real and not artificial.

So wander around and see what you think. If you like what you find here, you might want to sign up for my free monthly e-newsletter. That's how I keep both of my other fans updated on new poems as they are added to the site.

Funny Poems Blog
The funny poems blog to let you know whenever new poems are added to Real-Funny-Poems.com

Funny Birthday Poems
Say happy birthday with funny birthday poems that are just right. Or pretty close to just right . . .

Funny Love Poems
Funny love poems that shamelessly exploit the considerable humor involved in falling in and out of love.

Funny Friendship Poems
These funny friendship poems will make you feel warm and fuzzy all over. Or perhaps not . . .

Short Funny Poems
Short funny poems that waste no time getting to the punch-line.

Funny Anniversary Poems
Funny anniversary poems that shine with the sense of humor that it takes to stay married to the same person for years. And years.

Really Funny Poems
Really funny poems for those special occasions in life: weddings, graduations, Saturday night baths, and more.

Funny Christmas Poems
Funny Christmas poems that show Christmas is not just a joyful time, it’s also a very funny time of year.

Funny Family Poems
Funny family poems that show a good sense of humor is a universal family value.

Humorous Poems
Humorous poems that simply refuse to be pigeon-holed or categorized. In an amusing way, of course.

Very Funny Poems
Special types of very funny poems, including funny simile poems, limericks, and poems about conversational quirks.

Funny Retirement Poems
Funny retirement poems about that phase of life that so many look forward to. Except for the part about getting older and, well, you know, checking out.

Roses Are Red Poems
Roses are red poems are designed to be funny and completely devoid of serious intent. Now that is my kind of poem . . .

Funny Valentine Poems
Funny Valentine poems for those whose beloved has a sense of humor. It also helps if she isn’t hoping for something mushy and romantic.

Funny Animal Poems
Funny animal poems about our good friends with four legs, fur, fins, and even feathers.

Tom Mulhern
Who is Tom Mulhern, anyway?

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